The thing is I go back and forth about happiness. I know that happiness comes from within, that I shouldn't rely on outside "things" to make me happy, that i should remind myself how beautiful the world is, that i should live each day like it were my last. BUT, seriously when it comes down to it... it takes a lot of fucking effort to do that everyday.
I feel happy today, I am happy today... but i'm not one to think about happiness that much. I don't ask myself if i'm happy or sad or announce it to the world everyday. I just AM -- and whatever that is probably isn't either happy or sad.
The reason I am thinking and talking about happiness and letting things go and just living is due to discussion with my buddy Jes about all of these things and I think i have somewhat figured out why it is that I can't just say i'm happy and that all things in the past or future do matter...
I can't say that I am happy with this world.. because I am not happy with this world. I think SO many things could be different. I couldn't call myself a radical feminist if I didn't want CHANGE in the world. I couldn't promote veganism if I didn't want CHANGE in the world. I wouldn't be the artist that I am and strive to become if I didn't want CHANGE in the world. maybe i'm taking what she is saying to heart... and thinking that it should apply on every level... but i can't do that.
I do believe that everyone is connected. That we are all the same. That we all have the same potential (which is why I strive for change..because not everyone sees these things) I do believe that we can create our own hell on earth--but I do believe that sometimes our hells can be created by others... I do believe that we shouldn't dwell in the past or future because all we really do have is the NOW... but I also think that some things that happen to us in our pasts are not that easy to forget... let's just use Rape as an example.. having that happen to you isn't something that you can forget about--you can use it and grow from it in different way--but some people need help and therapy.. so just saying that you should not hold onto your past isn't all that easy. and lastly I guess I never really thought about how "thoughts are the only things that creates past and future"... all it is .. is thoughts. she's right.. you are right jes. BUT man oh man.. thoughts are powerful.
okay.. i just had to write some of this down... I will probably use this as a starting point for my next vlog on youtube.
if you are reading this and are interested in what i am talking about... go watch jesbodimer on youtube... the link is: http://www.youtube.com/jesbodimer
Thanks. and yeah.
the writer
About Me
- genderdance
- I just moved to Paintsville KY (far eastern kentucky) to live with my mom and brother while going to school for the next year to get an associates in graphic design. wish me luck... and I want a BIKE dammit.
1 comment:
L O fellow discussion friend :)
just a few feedbacks... which may also be basis for a future video. And I am REALLY glad you feed me back because its so much easier for me to answer questions or respond rather than to throw out randomness.
As far as "change".. the world, yourself, or people around you. Its awesome to see that we may need change and want to change things for the better.. because we are creatures of constant change with in and outside of us. However, having the "right" mindset in changing the world is key. We have to accept the world how it is, and we have to accept people for who they are, and accept their unawareness simply because if we don't... we are just as much a contributor to "hell on earth" as they are. If you judge something/someone by negativity then you are jumping right back into the circle of negativity. The "right" way to change is to accept the world and people for what it is or for what they are by excusing their unawareness and YOU be the change instead of "wanting" change from others.
before you expect or demand or think someone else or something needs to change... look to yourself first to see how YOU can make a change. see every point of view and how you may be causing the same thoughts that YOU need to change by someone else. see the circle?
--hell on earth created by others.
can happen. but its your choice to give more to the hell by developing grudges, planning revenge, or creating a "filter" (which ill explain further in the future). again it comes back to accepting how things are, and excusing people's shortcomings... they were unconscious, unaware, driven by illusion. if we we were all conscious and aware all the time (difficult, kinda), these things wouldn't happen. but also again, it starts with YOU.
--holding on to the past
I don't think anyone can forget their past, well big events at least. And I know its not easy to let go of events such as rape. BUT the event happened, it is over, the deed is done. THEY did it TO YOU.... how is it fair for you to hold on to all this negative energy, when you were an innocent person? So why hold on to it? it happened, yes.... are you ok?... hopefully.
FILTER = a bundle of thoughts in which relate to past experiences that is put in front of a direct line of new experiences, causing new experiences to be contaminated with old emotions from past events.
when bad things happen, its not to be forgotten... but it shouldn't be something that you are constantly thinking about.. constantly experiencing life through. move the bundle of thoughts or filter away from the direct path in which you experience life and new events happen. Make a conscious choice to not let the old emotions contaminate the new experiences.
look at the world like you've never seen it before. give your brain new sensations, new images, new feelings, new emotions. bless your body, and mind for all that it gives you everyday.. thank it.
ok so.. sorry for the length, and ill talk more about this stuff in more detail soon.. but i hope this gives you a little more clarity for right now :) if nothing else, more to respond to YAY
i love YOU!
Post a Comment